Humility is one of the most misunderstood words in the English language. Most of the time, we equate humility with humiliation and the idea that we must become a doormat for everyone and everything. But spiritual humility is anything but being a doormat; rather, it is a sense of being that transcends what the world wants of us.
Humility is not the sense that we are worthless and will never amount to anything; humility is the sense that there is something larger than ourselves and that we need that to help us through. The story of the Publican and Pharisee from the Gospel of St. Luke is a contrast in humility.
The story has two men, one a publican (tax collector) and the other a Pharisee, going up to the Temple to pray. The Pharisee wears his best clothes and walks in when most people would be in the Temple to pray. He walks down to the center of the Temple and begins his prayer, which sounds fine at the start, but then his focus shifts from God to himself. He prays, “God, I thank you that I am not like other men.” His prayer lacks humility because the focus shifts from his thanks to God to being about him. His prayer was done for effect, publicity, and for admiration. His thoughts were not on others but on what others thought of him. He prayed with himself and not for himself.
The Publican, standing alone, a few feet away in the shadows so as not to be seen, had his head down and was so weighed down and ashamed by the enormity of his sin that he could not even raise his gaze to heaven. He whispered, “Lord have mercy,” as the only prayer he could form on his lips. He stood there in the shadow of the Pharisee, softly repeating the same prayer over and over again, never daring to look up. He had come to the realization that he needed to change his life and repent for all that he had done to others in the past. He had the necessary humility to come and ask God for forgiveness.
Admitting we were wrong is a challenging thing for us to do. No one wants to look as if we do not know what we are doing or talking about. And the admission that we have done wrong is never easy. Admitting we are wrong is related in some sense to forgiveness. Withholding forgiveness affects us on a spiritual level, and not admitting when we are wrong does the same thing. As I have written previously, the spiritual and the physical are connected, so if our spiritual life is not where it should be, it will have an effect on our physical life.
Being able to admit that we are wrong and ask for forgiveness shows a level of humility that we all need to strive for. We should not wait until we are like the Publican in the story, so weighed down that we cannot even bring ourselves to form the words on our lips. Take care of those situations where we need to admit that we are wrong as soon as we can, and that will aid in our spiritual healing.
The end of the Gospel story has Jesus telling His disciples that the Publican will be justified rather than the Pharisee. The Publican focused on his prayer and his wrongs and not those of others. He focused on what he had to do to get his life right and did not compare himself to anyone. He held his head down in humility and simply asked that God forgive him and send His mercy and His grace to help him move forward in his life.
Our spiritual life comprises both the Publican and the Pharisee, and we have to decide which one we will be most like in our lives. If we wish to be like the Publican, we need to find humility, admit that we are wrong, and accept that we need to change our lives. We need the humility to admit that we cannot do it alone and that we need the grace of God to get us over the humps and bumps in our lives. If we are willing to do that, we will get on the right road, but we will have to recommit ourselves to the daily journey.
